Goodbye Weekend (2)

Another weekend, more goodbyes.  The first big event of this weekend was my final haircut before heading out to Rwanda.  For those of you who don't know, I do like my luxuries and I consider regular hairdressing one of those luxuries.   It's not that I don't think that they will have hairdressers in Rwanda, but I suspect that if I want to go to a salon that looks like any of the salons we have here, I will not be able to afford it on my local salary and will have to break in to my savings.  Nobuko looked slightly nervous when I showed her my new trimmer and asked her how I should use it on my hair...maybe I won't need to.  It might grow long in a very neat way and I can just keep scraping it back behind my ears!

So, with the haircut complete, I headed back to Milton Keynes for a small family and friends gathering.  It was my last opportunity to see Robert, Yesim and Ela as they are off to Turkey on holiday (and so that Ela can meet her Turkish family!).  Ela wore a dress I bought her especially for the occasion (she's just about grown big enough for it).  In fact, the four Langton ladies all sported nice Monsoon outfits.  Maybe we should consider some kind of advertising deal...?  Anyway, here's Ela looking scrumptious:

It was a really lovely evening.  It started with Maragret and Christine - some neighbours from the street where I grew up - arriving.  Maragret is 97 and still very much enjoys being out and about:

Margaret had a cuddle with Ela when she arrived, and reminisced about the times she had held both Robert (Ela's daddy) and me at the same age!  We had a really lovely evening of chatting and eating and drinking and I was made to give a couple of "talks" on Rwanda - my new speciality subject!  They mostly listened...  We carried on chatting, eating and drinking until very late and then everyone slowly went their separate ways.  It's quite strange to say goodbye to people and try to get your head around the fact that you may well not see them for a couple of years.  So far it hasn't really sunk in...

...until this morning!  I had to say goodbye to Robert, Yesim and Ela, and it was the first time that I actually had a bit of a cry.  I blame Yesim as she got upset first, and then that started me off, and then Mum got going.  Oh dear.  It's not quite the same, but at least I will be able to see Ela on skype.  Things have come a long way since the 1970s when Mum and Dad came over from Ireland.  Even I remember the times when all the 'phone lines to Ireland would be engaged on Christmas Day!

So, it was back to London for a final week.  I've got lots of packing to do and a few more goodbyes too. It's getting very close now!

So long, farewell...

This goodbye lark takes a very long time.  I started my week with a little mini break to Cheshire to visit my university friend, Lynda.  Her eldest daughter, Amelie is my God-daughter, so I had to go and pack two years of spiritual guidance into an over-night stay.  I'm not sure I managed it too well as I find my energy levels are really nowhere near those of a five year old, especially when she is supported by her three year old sister.

I chose the cheapest option as far as rail fares, which meant I had a very leisurely (long?!) 3hr journey up north.  Still, I was able to gaze out the window and listen to my ipod, so it was quite relaxing.  I was met by a crowd of wavers at Alsager, which always makes me feel special.  So, after a quick lunch, we went to a petting farm.  Lynda and I decided it was a bit of a swiz really.  The farmer charges you to buy a bag of food to feed to his animals...hmmm.  Still, the girls enjoyed it, and the adventure playground (although Mae did have a rather nasty accident with a swing and a bigger boy and there were the makings of a black eye the next day!).  I particularly enjoyed watching the girls run and jump around in the hay shed as it reminded me of the times as a child that Robert and I would pull apart grandad's hay shed and then get a little bit told off for putting tunnels through it etc.  But, it goes to show that all the technology in the world can't be more fun than playing in a hay shed.  It's the simple things!  I also really enjoyed my farm shop ice cream.  I had to have a double scoop - one of honeycomb and one of strawberries & cream.  Yum.  I'm not sure there will be much ice cream for me in Rwanda, especially since I have no fridge or freezer.

So, after lots of playing and feeding at the farm, we headed home to play with play-dough and do some drawing.  All of my favourite things.  And then before I knew it, it was bedtime.  Not mine, though.  So Lynda and I left the girls with Chris and went for a very scrumptious dinner.  I managed to completely stuff myself.  I had been threatened with some early morning jumping on my bed for the next morning, so it was with some fear that I awoke at 7:30 when I could hear signs of life from upstairs.  Happily a containment plan was in place and the threatened bed disturbances did not happen until 8:30.  And rather than jumping on me, they involved tunelling under my bed.  Following various domestic chores, more play-dough and a game of Fairy School (where I was a very disobedient student for Mae), and a visit from the postman - who arrived with an atlas so we could all look at where Rwanda was and how many countries away it is (who would have sent such a gift...?), we went to the park.  Of course, this being the north, it had started to rain.  But it was just a bit showery, so we put on our raincoats (and me: jumper, scarf, socks) and went to the park.  To play on the swings - my arms still ache!

We also made some maps of the park and the girls did a lot of running whilst Lynda and I did a lot of sitting.  Then we walked through the woods to see Amelie's den and went home for lunch, more playing and then my train home.  And Amelie chased the train along the platform and waved as I pulled away and then apparently cried because she is sad she won't see me for a while - bless.  And I collapsed into my seat, exhausted.

And then last night, I had Mark and Leanne over for dinner.  I'm going to miss them very much and although I will see them again before I go, they came for some food and to collect some stuff.  I have managed to convince Leanne to "look after" my Amelia Peabody detective stories.  She also left with a few other books, a chilli plant, some clothes and a clothes rail I borrowed from her a while ago.  We had a lovely evening of chatting and laughing (and eating and drinking) and hopefully they will come to Rwanda so I can cook them another meal there..maybe.  We also watched the "not the nine o'clock news" clip of Gerald the Gorilla.  Very funny.

So that's another few days of goodbyes, Just one more week of them to go before I go home for my final week (eeeek!).  It's all frighteningly close now.  But, as you can see, my blogging skills are coming on and I can now even insert pictures!

Goodbye Weekend (1)

The title of today's blog was kindly provided by one of the friends I have met with to say goodbye to this weekend.  I am currently a few days into a very long and intense period of goodbye saying.  This has resulted in me going for at least one brunch, lunch or dinner for the past six days and I have about two weeks more to go (I will be the size of a house and have a very damaged liver if I continue as I have been!).

The first of these, was on Thursday, when I met with my friend Alan on the Southbank.  I arrived quite early and found myself sauntering across the Hungerford Bridge in drizzle with a huge grin on my face as I soaked up the beautiful sights you can see from that bridge.  People were staring at me as though I was some kind of mad woman as the drizzle turned heavier and heavier and I was still smiling, until it was pelting rain.  By this time I was floating around the exhibits by the Royal Festival Hall and quite oblivious.  And so began an afternoon/evening of leisurely drinking and chatting.  The weather even cheered up enough for us to walk back to London Bridge and eat an ice cream as we did so.  I returned to the Southbank for brunch on Friday with Cassie and another stroll by the Thames.  I feel a bit like a tourist!

On Saturday morning, my very old school friend Sophie came to visit.  I met her at St Pancras so she did not have to face the riotous looters of London alone...we had a very nice time window shopping.  Until we got to the Birkenstock shop which was advertising a sale.  I really did not need another pair of Birkenstocks, but, as the man selling the shoes said - they really did look very nice.  We had a good day of catching up before we went out in the evening.  Clearly Sophie had been pouring herself extra drinks as she started hallucinating - screaming in fear as she was charged by a horse/elephant/dragon on the way to the pub...Oh no!  It was just a cat.  A kitten actually.  Still it was very funny at the time.  We met up with the running crowd, who were in their disguise as the drinking crowd and had a very jolly time in the Jolly Woodman.  We were up early for bacon sandwiches before Sophie had to drive the train back to Bedford to collect Lottie and then I headed out to see Mark and Claire.  I hadn't seen them for a few months and it was lovely to see things were progressing well with the family Atkinson.  And, it was over a few leisurely pints (or half pints and lime sodas in some cases) that Mark's creative juices flowed and he suggested the title for today's blog.  I threatened to use it, and I always like to carry out my threats!  I have another two weekends before I actually head off and they all feature more goodbyes, so I'm afraid there might be another two posts like this before I go.  It's all quite exhausting really. 

Get set...

The school holidays are well underway, so I have started my long summer of goodbyes.  I had drinks with some frineds last night.  One of whom it has taken 5yrs and me choosing to leave the country to arrange to meet up.  Today I spent the day with my lovely little niece Ela, and my sister-in-law, Yesim.  Ela is only three months old and is gorgeous.  I spent the day trying to make her giggle as it was such a lovely sound.  Luckily she was very obliging and I got hours of hugs from her.  I have plans to see a lot more of them before I go, although, Ela didn't look that fussed when I told her I was going away for a couple of years.

I have had a really busy week since school broke up.  I've been gathering documents and finalising preparations and then from Friday morning until yesterday afternoon I was on my final training course in Birmingham (where VSO have their training centre).  We've already had a lot of training - a one week on-line course followed by three days face-to-face, one more week on-line and then a quite hefty assignment which had to be handed in last week.  This last course was 4 intense days on Skills for Working in Development (or SKWID).  I certainly feel more skilled in the art of facilitation and I have learnt a lot about building relationships and identifying stakeholders.  There were some very funny role-plays and at times we were feeling quite bamboozled.  One particular session really provided me with my "lightbulb" moment.  It was called "Building Bridges".  We were divided into groups of 6 and given a brief card.  This appeared quite straightforward - we worked for an NGO in the capital city, a village some miles away had had its bridge destroyed.  We were to design a new bridge.  We had 10mins prep, then a village representative would arrive to discuss our plan and then we would have 10mins to complete.  Having spent the previous 24hrs learning about stakeholders and doing needs analysis, we quickly set to work considering who our stakeholders were and then creating a range of questions we would ask the village representative.  The representative arrived.  With a piece of cloth wrapped around her head and a wooden pot on her head and initially - no English.  She lurked at the door until I persuaded her in.  Then she revealed she could speak English and spent some time quizzing me about my marital status and stroking my hair.  I kept at her like a terrier snapping at heels - to no avail.  On occasions we had a break-through ("Oh you have brought us some oranges - are they from your village?  Do they grow near the river?  Do you have to cart them over the bridge?").  But, it didn't matter what we tried - she was not interested in talking about a bridge and we were frustrated thinking we needed to design a bridge.  She left, and when she did we finally realised...the bridge was a metaphorical one...we needed to build a relationship with this woman.  So when she returned, we didn't mention the bridge and worked on our relationship.  Success!  We were invited to the village and all was well - we were in!  And it turned out the box of building materials were irrelevant.  We were just meant to build the metaphorical bridge and nothing else.

It got us all thinking.  We had been told we would need to observe for the first couple of months and get to know people.  This seems so wrong in our work culture where you jump into action and set about trying to impress people from day one with how much you can achieve in a short space of time.  It's not going to be like that in Rwanda - I will need to be-friend people first and then once that friendship exists, people will (hopefully) feel like inviting me in to their lives and I can hopefully partner up with them and we can work together for the changes we hope to achieve.

So, VSO certainly don't send us away as we are just because we all want to go and make the world a better place.  It's hard work in the run-up and goodness knows what it will be like when doing it for real!  But I am so excited, and I met 7 other volunteers who are going out to Rwanda, so I already have some friends.  It's going to be a busy month but the end of the build up is in sight.  I fly out at 9pm on Friday 2nd September - eeek!